Dilemma   Leave a comment

WARNING: This post is written randomly with a random mind and randomized sentences. Forgive me.

I didn’t know what to write, what to say, what to share right now.

I’m an ordinary teenager who seeks for a good university with the suitable faculty for me.
As an ordinary human, I want to live on my own way. I have willings, desires, and dreams.
But it seems that my parents aren’t on the same way with me. We see different future, we have different plans, different visions, and different ways of thinking.

I admit I wanna do what I want, but it doesn’t mean that I’m a wild child to my parents. I still love my parents, whatever they do and say. But it is so hard to choose between my dreams and their hopes.
I live for them, I live because of them. I would give everything for them.
But, does it mean that I gotta sacrifice my dreams for them?

I wanna say “Mom, Dad, it is my life. Let me decide by myself. Let me grow up, develop myself, learn about many things. Please, set me free.”
But I can’t. They’re still needing me by their sides.
And I don’t wanna hurt them.

FYI my parents even dunno about my dreams or what I want.
Not because they never wanna know (sometimes they don’t wanna know, though), but because I never spoke up or tell em what I wanna be.

I understand that my parents just don’t wanna let me fall down. They don’t wanna see me hurt. They just wanna see me happy. I do really understand. But instead of that, my parents also don’t wanna be shamed of me. My failure. because children’s success represents the parents’.

But I never thought so.

If I’m failed, it must be my fault. Because I’m sure that my parents had educated me so well.
I’m the one who work it out, for me. And if I’m failed, I am the one who should be depressed, right? Yeaah, though I never been. Not Yet. I won’t. Nothing can bring me down 😛

Soooo, back to the topic!
I still dunno what to say~!!! Aaaaarrrrghhh…..

This time I just wanna runaway from my house. Gone somewhere nowhere.
Crossing the sea and travelling around the world all alone~!

But that won’t make my parents happy.

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Posted May 21, 2010 by Uki Uki Saki in English Posts

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